


Life Itself

by headofmarimo



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira just wants to make him feel better, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I tried to keep this as non pegoryu as possible since thats not the focus but, Past Abuse, Poor Ryuji has been through a lot, So Atlus why come Ryuji never got an apology from the school, Ugh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 19:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16270391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headofmarimo/pseuds/headofmarimo
Summary: Ryuji wasn’t quite sure what it was, but something about today just felt off.Or rather, Ryuji finally gets sick of all the shit the school puts him through and Akira tries his best to comfort him.





	Life Itself

**Author's Note:**

> (Me at 2 am: Thinks about all of the shit Ryuji's been through and yet no one ever properly acknowledged the abuse he suffered from Kamoshida with the support and understanding it needed  
> The result was this fic, so sorry for its sparsity  
> But regardless, hope you enjoy reading ;u;)

 

The school day felt typical enough.

Ryuji stared down at the sheet of paper on his desk, covered in red pen marks to indicate just how poorly he had done on his test. He crumpled the test and stuffed it into his bag, not wanting to look at it any longer.

When lunch rolled around he ate alone at his desk the bento he had made himself, keeping his head down and silent while the other students chattered and laughed around him like he wasn’t even there. The teacher continued to drone on in his lecture after lunch was done, and suddenly Ryuji was called on the spot to give an answer he didn’t have to a question. Ryuji could hear the whispers around him after he took a shot in the dark and gave the wrong answer.

“He seriously got _that_ wrong?”

“I guess running was all he had going for him.” he overheard one person remark, and Ryuji had to press his lips together to stop himself from yelling at them.

“Hey, shut up back there!” scolded Ushimaru, more annoyed at their disruption than what they had to say about the deliquent of the class.  Class carried on as usual, but for whatever reason Ryuji felt considerably more drained by the end.

 _Running was all he had going for him_. He couldn’t help but wince when he remembered those words, and it only reminded him of the tightness in his right leg that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Not that it mattered. He was used to it by now anyways.

He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out the room. Akira was going to be busy with his part-time job tonight, so he couldn’t hang out. That was fine, they could always hang out some other time.

Ryuji’s quiet the entire time during the train ride home, and a heavy sigh escaped him when he finally reached the door of his apartment, the hinges creaking as he swung it open. Why did he feel so off today? Today wasn’t any different from his usual routine, right? After all, he had already anticipated the pre-wrapped dinner in the fridge left behind by his mom, too busy to eat at home with her son. Ryuji took out the plate from the fridge and placed it in the microwave, and a few minutes later dinner was ready to eat. He took a seat at the table and ate alone, the silence of the empty kitchen feeling more oppressive the longer he sat there, and after he finished he cleaned his empty plate before putting it in the dish rack to dry.

Maybe changing things up would help. For the first time in a while Ryuji opened up his textbooks and actually tried to study, but the words swam in his vision and the numbers jumbled together until Ryuji’s head hurt from trying to process it all. It’s no use; he shut the textbook and stood back up, trudging to his room.

Playing video games would probably take his mind off his crummy mood. He didn’t keep track of how much time passed, but in the end a game-over screen blared at him in the darkness of his room as the result of his toil. He stared at the screen for a few moments, and suddenly he realized how late it had gotten.

His mom still wasn’t home. She must have been working overtime.

The words “game over” continued to blink back at him. Coming so far, only to fail in the end.

He flipped off the television and decided to go for a jog.

* * *

 

In the end, he always found himself back here.

Standing in front of the doors to the Leblanc cafe, Ryuji was undeterred by its vacancy. He knew someone was still inside. With a deep breath, he rapped his knuckles harshly against the glass.

No response for a minute, and the pit in Ryuji’s stomach only grew heavier as he turned to leave when-

“Ryuji?”

He couldn’t help but perk up when he heard Akira’s voice.

“H-Hey Akira.”

“Why are you here so late at night?”

“Don’t you know what time it is?” complained Morgana from behind.

Ryuji stared at the ground. “Um… can I come in?”

Akira nodded and moved aside to let Ryuji pass through, and the rich aroma of coffee washed over him. It was calming in a sense, soothing his unease just a bit.

“Do you need something?” asked Akira, arms folded across his chest.

Ryuji shook his head, unable to look at Akira. “No, that’s not it. Well, maybe it is… um, can I spend the night?” he asked quietly.

Akira visibly relaxed after he heard Ryuji’s request, a small smile on his face. “That’s all? I thought you had gotten into trouble again.” he teased.

“Jeez, making a hassle for everyone.” grumbled Morgana.

“Shush, Morgana. He’s more than welcome to stay.” scolded Akira. He looked at Ryuji, brows furrowed together. “But still, did something happen at home Ryuji?”

“N-No, it’s just- I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” confessed Ryuji as quietly as possible; god, he could feel his face burning.

Akira didn’t pry into it any further, but he motioned for Ryuji to follow him up the stairs. “Wanna finish up the rest of Star Forneus?”

“What are you talking about? It’s a school night!” objected Morgana.

Akira ignored him, and Ryuji smiled sheepishly in return.

“Sure.”

* * *

 

They ended up beating the game, and Ryuji pumped his fist as the end credits rolled. “Yes! That’s how it’s done!” he cheered, and for the first time since he woke up Ryuji actually felt happy.

Akira smiled at their success before turning off the game console. He yawned as he stood back up, arms raised above him in as he leisurely stretched.

“Ah, jeez. It’s already gotten so late,” muttered Ryuji as he checked the time on his phone. Morgana, disgruntled by their actions, decided to sleep in one of the booths downstairs, leaving the two of them to their own devices (“I give up. You two are hopeless.” he had said).

“Are you fine with the couch?” Akira asked as he spread out a blanket for Ryuji.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

“Mm, kinda hard not to since you won’t talk about what happened.”

Ryuji stiffened at that. “Did you really have to bring it up now?”

Akira sighed and shook his head. “No, sorry. But if something’s troubling you I want to know so that I can help you deal with it.”

“And what’s the point? Not like you can change the whole school’s opinion about me.” grumbled Ryuji.

Fuck. He turned his head to avoid looking at Akira once he realized what he just said.

“Is that what this is all about?” asked Akira softly. He placed a hand on Ryuji’s shoulder, causing him to flinch. “Ryuji, it’s okay to talk to me about it. I understand what it’s like to have everyone turned against you for the wrong reasons. What happened? Did your old track teammates try something?” There was a dark look in his eyes. “We could go change their hearts.”

“No!” Ryuji hastily objected. “They didn’t do anything, honest! I just- it’s been a rough day, that’s all.” he swallowed and stared at the floor. This was the worst. He hated the tightness welling up in his throat. “...I failed my test, got shit talked about me, and my ma couldn’t come home because she’s working overtime, that’s all.” he said hoarsely. Did he even have a reason to be upset? That was all just part of a normal day for him, wasn’t it?

Akira’s eyes softened. “Oh Ryuji…”

Please stop. He didn’t want pity. “It’s nothing, I shouldn’t even be upset. I’m sorry for making such a big deal outta it.” he mumbled, the game controller hanging limply from his hand..  
“It _is_ a big deal.  Don’t apologize.” Akira sat back down in the chair beside him. “You’re clearly upset.”

“Shut up!” snapped Ryuji. He shouldn’t have said that; he bit his lip to stop himself from digging a deeper hole.

Akira, however, didn’t seem bothered at all. “I won’t. You always do this Ryuji, always bottle up what you think is weakness even though it’s clearly doing more harm than good. Can’t you at least open up to me, your best friend, for god’s sake?”

Ryuji shook his head, eyes glued to the floor and lips clamped tightly shut. He couldn’t. At least if he lashed out the people who berated him would leave him alone in the future, learn that he wasn’t someone they could walk all over so easily.

“Come on, say something, _please_.” pleaded Akira. He stood up and leaned down to wrap his arms around Ryuji in a hug. “Fine, don’t say anything. But I’m not letting go until you do.”

Please don’t…

And suddenly Ryuji found himself blinking back the tears. No, no, he didn’t want this. Please.

“I tried- I promise I did.” he choked out. He actually studied for the test, but in the end the result was still the same. His poor grades weren’t anything new, but at least they were justified by the amount of effort he had put into the track team. Now he didn’t even have that anymore. He probably couldn’t ever be as good of a runner as he was before the injury no matter how hard he tried now, the tightness in his leg a chain that slowed him down, constantly reminding him of what he would never have again. To top it all off, the rest of the school hadn’t been supportive of him in the slightest, treating him like it was _his_ fault that Kamoshida found the excuse he needed to end the track team, and Kamoshida’s confession didn’t even change that, still looking down at him and refusing to admit to their mistakes.

It wasn’t fair. It was _fucking_ fair.

“It’s not fair.” sobbed Ryuji, and once the tears started falling they refused to stop, ugly sobs heaving from his chest as he cried everything out in Akira’s embrace. “I’m trying, I really am. So why is it still like this?” Why did they still hate him? His old track teammates, his old friends, everyone...

“It’s not your fault Ryuji.” murmured Akira, and that’s what Akira repeated over and over again until Ryuji’s tears had run dry, until all that was left was a thrumming headache and puffy red eyes.

“I’m sorry…” he whimpered, clinging to Akira with trembling hands.

“You don’t have any reason to be sorry.” Akira said softly. He crouched down and wiped Ryuji’s tears away with his thumb. “Come to me or Makoto if you need help with studies. Or better yet, just come to any of us if you need something. You can rely on us because we care about you Ryuji, okay? That’s what friends are for.”

Ryuji sniffled and gave a small nod. “Okay.” he gave a huff of laughter as he hastily wiped away the rest of his tears with the back of his arm, a shaky smile on his face. “E-Eff, this is so embarrassing.”

“Maybe for you, but I’m glad you opened up to me.” Akira smiled and helped Ryuji out of his seat. “I want to know if something’s troubling you, so please don’t be afraid to tell me.”

“Thanks Akira...” and suddenly he felt very, very tired, as if all of his energy sapped away with his tears.

“We should probably go to bed now.” mumbled Akira, looking just as drained.

A simple “goodnight” exchanged between them before the lights turn off, and Ryuji couldn’t help but stare at Akira’s outline in the darkness.

Friends, huh?

That’s right, he still had people he could trust. As long as they were by his side, he still had a future he could look forward to.

Keeping that thought in mind, Ryuji drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> (Thanks for reading!)


End file.
